This holiday season comes with a lot of joy, gratitude, presents, food, merriment, and… unasked-for comments from relatives.

This seems to be a universal thing; all around the globe, families gather to share a meal and reconnect, all while smoothly directing nosy comments at the younger generation.

The comments start when you’re about 17 years old and they won’t stop coming until you graduate university.

Wait, no… until you get married.

Well, maybe until you have kids.

Actually, I think the safest bet is that they won’t stop coming until your kids are old enough to have the comments redirected to them.

Here’s a list of comments you can look forward to receiving during this joyful and merry season, with a few suggested comebacks you can fire back!

1. Wow, you’ve gained weight!

Oh, gee. I really had no idea. Thanks for making the effort to point it out even though no one, specifically I, asked you about your opinion!

Best response: “Well, ouch.”

Make your hurt feelings known with a direct statement that shows how rude their comment was without getting into a long discussion over it. Simple and effective!

2. So, are you seeing anyone right now?

Um. Yeah. Netflix.

Best response: “I’m just focusing on myself, my studies, and my friends right now. If I happen to meet someone along the way, then great!”

Then change the subject.

3. Sometimes, I worry you forgot about us! You haven’t been visiting at all.

Well yeah… to avoid these questions.

Best response: “I’ve just been really busy with work/exams and projects. I had been meaning to visit, though.”

Sometimes, telling a white lie is necessary.

4. You know I heard [x]’s kid got married. Good for them! When are you going to delight us with such good news?

Best response: “When I do, you’ll be the first one to hear about it!”

Yeah, right.

5. Hopefully, next year, you’ll be introducing us to your partner!

Best response: “Fingers crossed.”

You know, [x]’s daughter landed a job in Dubai. She’s making tons of money and she’s really happy! I hope we’ll get to say that about you, someday.

Best response: “You already can. I love my job!”

Then, ask them about themselves and how they’re doing.

You got this.

And my final piece of advice is, focus on the food.